Saturday, September 19, 2009

Da Bess Greetin' Cards Evah!

BIRTHDAYS


Middle age

Is it a dream or is it real? Why yo' ass be lookin' like a orange peel?



If you can recall the names of all the Supremes, it's coz yo' ass be old, girl!

Happy Birthday!




Teenagers: Take 1

Braces are ugly, pimples are gross


Wait another decade, then show 'em who's boss!


(for the lacking-in-self-esteem, pubescent Freddy-no-friends...this is sure to cheer him up)



Teenagers: Take 2


Braces are a hassle, pimples are a bore


Wait another decade if you're looking to score
.

(for the gonad-(d)riven Freddy two-hands)



RETIREMENT/OLD AGE



Take a great bite out of life with your new dentures,

Embark boldly (and baldly) on brand new adventures,


Keep that spark- you know life begins at 65,

You may be an old codger but you're still alive!

Happy retirement!



NEW BABY/PATERNITY TESTING


It's a boy!


Are you the baby-daddy?


Please report to BabyMomma's Maternity Ward for a DNA test, or send a lock of your hair to: Monifa Princess Latrice (address provided).

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