BIRTHDAYS
Middle age
Is it a dream or is it real? Why yo' ass be lookin' like a orange peel?
Teenagers: Take 1
Braces are ugly, pimples are gross
Wait another decade, then show 'em who's boss!
(for the lacking-in-self-esteem, pubescent Freddy-no-friends...this is sure to cheer him up)
Teenagers: Take 2
Braces are a hassle, pimples are a bore
Wait another decade if you're looking to score.
(for the gonad-(d)riven Freddy two-hands)
RETIREMENT/OLD AGE
Take a great bite out of life with your new dentures,
Embark boldly (and baldly) on brand new adventures,
Keep that spark- you know life begins at 65,
You may be an old codger but you're still alive!
Happy retirement!
NEW BABY/PATERNITY TESTING
It's a boy!
Are you the baby-daddy?
Please report to BabyMomma's Maternity Ward for a DNA test, or send a lock of your hair to: Monifa Princess Latrice (address provided).
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